Volume 10, Issue 3

President’s Message

On May 5 we recognized the 120 students and 60 adults who helped implement our many programs this past year. In this article I welcome the opportunity to thank the SCC board members who helped identify and manage the programs listed elsewhere in this issue in the annual report:

• Marilyn Seiber for arranging the two stress panels at Langley High School, arranging the visit of the Vision Warrior to Langley and McLean High Schools, trying to arrange Black Balloon Days at the two high schools, and serving on the grant evaluation team.

•Sharon Burdick for managing the administrator‑staff reception and the Middle School Forum.

•Eileen Culligan for managing the Rosalind Wiseman program, helping at the McLean Day booth, and supporting many other SCC programs.

•Evelyn Fox for serving as the liaison with Kent Gardens, Timber Lane, and Franklin Sherman elementary schools, and organizing the Sixth Grade Ethics Day.

•Irv Auerbach for maintaining our books, serving as Publicity Chair, creating the banners used at McLean Day, helping mail the newsletters, handling many miscellaneous matters, and taking notes at one board meeting

•Susy Rothschild for preparing minutes of most Board meetings, monitoring our email site, and assisting at the Teen Summit.

•Sherry Wells for managing Project Hospitality, chairing the Nominating Committee, serving on the grant evaluation team, and handling the refreshments at the awards reception.

•Elwood Howerton for managing the Coalition's booth at McLean Day, and for conducting the School Resource Officer feedback session.

•Leslie Metge for managing the Mind of a Middle School Child program.

•Susan Gorin for serving on the Langley stress panel, serving as the liaison to Spring Hill and Churchill Road Elementary Schools, and managing the brochure redesign project.

•Diane Pechstein for serving as the liaison to Forestville, Colvin Run, and Great Falls Elementary Schools.

•Janet Tysse for actively supporting character education programs at Langley High School.

•Don Morton for arranging the Parent Responsibilities session at McLean High School

•Cameron Edgar for assisting with the Teen Summit

•Charlotte Potashnik for making administrative arrangements for the Elementary Mediation Workshop

•Emily Newman for managing the Student Connection program.

•Matt Moynihan, Jay Singh, Ginna Altmeyer, Megan Blumenthal, Mary‑Kate Corcoran, and Elizabeth Jennings for coordinating the Student Connection program, facilitating the Teen Summit, and facilitating the Middle School Forum.

•Robin Hoehn for preparing the newsletter twice this year.

•Debbi Hart for managing the middle school after school grant

•Tracey Marsch Kretzer for supporting the Elementary Mediation Workshop, doing the Prom Notes program, and serving as elementary co‑liaison

•Sue King for supporting the Elementary Mediation Workshop, arranging the time management program at Chesterbrook, and serving as elementary co‑liaison.

•Joan Packer for representing Longfellow Middle School and having the Longfellow Peer Mediation Team assist with bullying awareness programs at elementary schools.

•Mikal Pederson for maintaining the coalition mailing list

•Tom Hamilton for maintaining the Coalition website

•Rosemary Grefe and Becky Yearout for working with the schools to process Safe and Drug Free Youth grant applications

Any list creates the opportunity for omissions. I apologize to those contributors I have missed. To those listed and those omitted, I say thank you. The large number of worthwhile programs can only be implemented with a large and dedicated group of volunteers. Our organization is blessed with them, and our community is a better place as a result.

As always, we can use your help. If you would like to help us arrange, implement, or evaluate any of our programs, please contact me at jauerbach@cox.net.

Jan Auerbach, SCC President

Farewell to the Rothschilds

Susy and Ed Rothschild are retiring from the SCC Board at the end of this fiscal year. Both are charter members of SCC and have been on the board since 1995. Susy has been Secretary for the last eight years. Ed has served as Publicity Chair and coordinated programs. Both have been strong supporters of SCC's mission and have put in many hours to see the vision come true. We are sorry to see them leave, but applaud their long time contribution to our efforts.

Gang Tip Phone Number

1‑866‑NO‑GANGS allows students to remain anonymous when reporting any information that they might have about gang activity. It is a recording where students can leave any pertinent information on the phone.

Langley High Stress Panel

SCC sponsored a panel on "Teen Stress: What It Is and How to Cope" for parents and students on April 11, 2005. Panelists were psychiatrist Lynda Tenhundfeld, psychologist Dr. Robert Nay, and Langley students Andrew Abraham and Isobel Botello. SCC Vice‑President Marilyn Seiber hosted the event.

Lynda Tenhundfeld

Dr. Tenhundfeld explained that stress is the effect of perceived (real or unreal) pressure on oneself. The degree of control you have over the stressor affects your ability to manage it. The goal is to provide children the skills to manage stress. Even students who are academic stars don't have to take all honors classes. Daily schedules should include time to relax. Parents can help children learn two critical skills: how to identify when they are stressed (perhaps a change in behavior such as headaches, stomachaches, developing a cold), and to learn how to relax. Methods of relaxation are different for different people. For teens it may be Instant Messaging, playing loud music, going for a run, or watching a movie. Don't define the method for them but help them to identify it for themselves. Help children plan activities that they like, not what looks good on a college application. Make sure children learn study skills, such as working for 30 minutes and taking a 5‑minute break. Children may complain about 5 hours of homework a night but there may actually be only 2 hours of good study time if they are instant messaging and succumbing to other distractions while they are studying. Since most teens tend to wait until the last minute to complete assignments, one suggestion is to list the deadline one day early. She noted that athletes tend to be better time managers because they have to learn those skills in order to juggle their practice and homework times.

She said that extra testing in schools is putting a stress on teachers. Since the tests are not going to go away, we need to increase skills to deal with them. Teachers can help spread work out so it is not all due the last week of the grading period. She encouraged parents to develop a relationship with the school counselor. For example, each middle school teacher may recommend that a student take the honors class in their subject in high school, but only the counselor would look across the entire workload and recognize that a student is planning too many honors classes. Another point is that children are naturally catastrophizers. Parents can help their children get out of ANTS (automatic negative thought syndrome) and learn to think positively; encourage them to brainstorm solutions and then implement them. When asked whether alcohol is used as a stress reliever, she noted that alcohol use is not just at parties but on school grounds and in water bottles. The number one determinant whether teens will drink or smoke is whether their parents do.

Andrew Abraham

Andy said that 9th grade is one of the most stressful periods for students. There are lots of new things (schools, classes, classmates) and no skills to deal with them. Students at that age have no self‑assurance. They are adjusting to a whole new social environment and feeling like they are at the bottom of the pile. They feel they have to look and dress a certain way. Concerns with self‑image and other problems get easier with each year in high school because students develop confidence in dealing with them. The major source of stress is time management. Cramming in high school doesn't work the way it did in 7th and 8th grade. Worrying about getting something done, plus the stress of actually doing it, doubles the amount of stress involved. Sleep is another source of stress since teens never get enough of it. One way to alleviate stress is to talk to family and friends. There are plenty of people who are willing to help if the teen just reaches out. Finding someone a year or two older to serve as a mentor is a big help. He does not believe students use alcohol as a stress reliever; students drink because their friends do and they think it is time for them to start, too.

Isabel Botello

Isabel concurred about the importance of learning time management skills early. Students cannot use in high school the same study skills that worked for them in middle school. High school involves much more pressure than middle school. It is not helpful for parents to make problems sound easy since to the student they are hard. Peers are often more sympathetic than parents. Parents are often a big source of stress for students since their expectations are very high. Parents can help by trusting their children and letting them be. She agreed that talking to older students helped since they gave her hints how to deal with her problems. Students can meet upperclassmen by taking a sport or enrolling in a class where upperclassmen are likely to be. She advised students to plan courses and activities so that there is time left to relax. She agreed that a major source of stress comes from social relationships. Friends change and you may have to make new ones. Having a few really good friends helps relieve stress. Also, learn when you need to take a break, even if it is just going downstairs for a drink of water. She goes out one night a weekend with friends to relax. Stress can be a good thing if it is managed well.

Bob Nay

Dr. Nay remarked that when he was young no one talked about stress or time management. Problems are bigger now. Stress involves a sense of loss of control due to change, overload, or unrealistic expectations. The average teen needs more than nine hours of sleep a night and gets far less. Teens often don't get the right sustenance (eating properly) or substances (too much caffeine). Stress is exhibited in physiological symptoms such as acne, gastro‑intestinal disturbance, and poor concentration. His suggestions for decreasing stress are: reduce the number of changes/adaptations, reduce the number of activities so that at least one hour is available every day for non‑task activities, get at least eight hours of sleep per night and have breakfast every morning, eliminate caffeinated drinks and forget energy drinks, talk out problems with someone you trust as soon as possible to reach resolution/a plan, learn simple relaxation tools like taking deep breaths, and challenge thoughts that are not facts (assumptions you can't see, hear or sense). Parents can help children select activities and postpone one to a later time if there is too much planned now. He suggested the book How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Even though it is directed at pre‑teen children, the principles are useful for dealing with all age children.

Marijuana: The Right Drug to Target

By Joseph A. Califano Jr.

Exerpted from an article in the

Washington Post, Tuesday, May 17, 2005

From the standpoint of protecting children, teens and the public health, reducing marijuana use makes eminent sense. For even though marijuana use has leveled off or waned slightly over the past several years, the number of children and teenagers in treatment for marijuana dependence and abuse has jumped 142 percent since 1992, and the number of teen emergency room admissions in which marijuana is implicated is up almost 50 percent since 1999. Though alcohol remains by far the teen substance of choice, teens are three times likelier to be in treatment for marijuana than for alcohol (and six times likelier to be in treatment for marijuana than for all other illegal drugs combined).

As has been true of tobacco since the 1960s, we've learned a lot about the dangers of marijuana since the 1970s. The drug adversely affects short‑term memory, the ability to concentrate and motor skills. Recent studies indicate that it increases the likelihood of depression, schizophrenia and other serious mental health problems. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, has repeatedly expressed concern about the adverse impact of marijuana on the brain, a matter of particular moment for youngsters whose brains are still in the development stage. Volkow has stated: "There is no question marijuana can be addictive; that argument is over. The most important thing right now is to understand the vulnerability of young, developing brains to these increased concentrations of cannabis."

The issue of marijuana use (and most illegal drug use) is all about kids. If we can get kids not to smoke marijuana before they reach age 21, they are virtually certain never to do so. This begins with understanding the importance of preventing kids from becoming cigarette smokers. Most kids who smoke cigarettes will not smoke marijuana, but a 2003 survey of 12‑ to 17‑year‑olds, conducted by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University, reveals that teens who smoke cigarettes are much likelier than non‑smokers to try marijuana; they are also likelier to become regular marijuana users. In [another] CASA survey, 40 percent of 12‑ to 17‑year‑olds report that they can buy the drug within a day, and 21 percent say they can buy it within an hour.

Parents are the first line of defense. Parents must understand that the drug available today is far more potent than what they might have smoked in the 1970s. For their children, smoking marijuana is not a harmless rite of passage but rather a dangerous game of Russian roulette.

Mr. Califano is president of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. He was secretary of health, education and welfare from 1977 to 1979 and President Lyndon Johnson's assistant for domestic affairs from 1965 to 1969.

Virginia's Children of Promise

Mentor Program

by Jeanne Bott, Mentor Coordinator

for Virginia’s Children of Promise

There is nothing more important in a child's life than a positive, adult role model. For many children, this is their parents or another adult who takes the time and energy to commit to a child in need. Unfortunately, children who have one or both parents incarcerated miss out on having positive role models to aid and guide them as they grow up. For some time, the Virginia Conference of United Methodist Churches (VCUMC) has taken a lead role in mentoring and advocating for these needy children in the state of Virginia. Recently, United Methodist Family Services (UMFS) received a grant, entitled Virginia's Children of Promise (VCOP) from the federal government. VCOP is a federally funded grant enabling UMFS to provide matches between children of incarcerated parents with mentors from the community. It also requires collaboration between private and public agencies to better serve children in need and provide them with quality services from the community and other agencies. The grant provides a match between a mentor and a youth, screening and training for mentors, support to mentors and youth through contact with mentor coordinators, and referrals to community resources. The mentor and youth are required to meet face to face once per week and always have the option of meeting and talking more often. Hopefully such positive adult interaction will assist the youth in creating positive peer relationships, increase attendance and performance at school, and delay the use of drugs or alcohol. Mentoring is a commitment to a child in need today for a positive community in the future. If you know a child who would benefit from this program or are interested in mentoring a child, contact Jeanne Bott at jbott@umfs.org or 703‑941-9008.

Rosalind Wiseman

Rosalind Wiseman spoke to about 600 parents and students on April 12, 2005. Ms. Wiseman co-founded The Empower Program in 1994. Empower’s goal is to empower youth to stop the culture of violence. Reaching over 10,000 youth and educators each year, Empower teaches boys and girls to transform their silence into effective action. She is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, now in its 25th printing.

Our Culture

Ms. Wiseman began her presentation with an anecdote about a girl who received a rainbow note of hate, in which girls had written mean things about her in their color on a rainbow note card. She compared the girl's feeling to one you get when stopped for speeding. When the recipient of the note sees the girls who wrote to her, she wants to hide and is very embarrassed.

Ms. Wiseman gave the dictionary definition of culture as customs, beliefs, social form and material traits of racial, religious, or social groups. In our terminology, it is everything we know that we were never explicitly taught. The dictionary definition of femininity is the quality or nature of being feminine. In her own words, femininity in middle school means you have a great body, guys like you, you have money, and you are in control. A grown up definition of femininity means you have a relationship with a man, you have a great body, you want children, and you get your thank you notes out on time. The dictionary definition of masculinity is of or forming the formal, active, or generative principle of the cosmos. The middle school definition is a good body, self‑reliant, laugh off all types of pain, always want attention from girls, and able to discussion professional sports with authority. A grown up definition includes a great laugh, funny, good marriage, good body, make money, spend money, and never look like you are worried about money.

In talking about middle school boys and girls, she said that girls can have conversations without talking. Girls think guys can read minds too and get mad when they don't. In grades 6, 7, and 8, a girl can consider herself dating a boy and he doesn't even know it; girls can read a lot into little exchanges and assume a couple is dating when he thinks he just said hello.

Ms. Wiseman stressed that we constantly hear an advertising message in the media that we are not good enough, that we have to buy a particular product to be good. Our culture focuses on the negative—what is wrong with you—not what is good and right. Racism is alive and well in advertising; all models are white. People need to realize they are being manipulated so that they then can think for themselves.

In our culture, girls strive to be popular, have the right style, be pretty, be thin, have nice hair, make good grades, be athletic, and be confident. Put down words include fat, no friends, trying too hard, gay, slut, and shy. Boys strive to be strong, tough, funny, have the right style, have money, date girls, be athletic, and present themselves well. Put down words are gay, sensitive, like a girl, and weak.

There are four basic ways girls show anger: 1) keep it inside, and turn against themselves for being angry, 2) sit on it, then lamely say please don't do that any more, 3) sit on it, then blow up over some little thing, and 4) vow to take the other person down physically or emotionally. If girls employ any of these options, adults will not take them seriously. Her message is that teens need to be straight up about what is upsetting them.

Another aspect of our culture is that if we perceive someone is bad, we consider them a lesser person and don't deal with them. However, if a parent thinks this way about another parent, they won't deal with the other person. Parents need to deal with all other parents, regardless of what they think of them, in order to present a united front to the teens.

The Hive

Ms. Wiseman described some of the roles in the hive that she used in Queen Bees and Wannabes.

•The Queen Bee. or Dominator, rules through charisma or fear. She has social intelligence and a need for control.

•The Sidekick/Backup gets social security from the Queen Bee. If she is socially intelligent, she might overthrow the Queen Bee.

•The Banker collects information about others by pretending to be supportive, and then dispenses secrets at strategic times to create conflict between peers.

For the Queen Bee, Sidekick, and Banker, everything is a test of loyalty.

•The Messenger carries information back and forth between two who are in conflict. This person is often dismissed or attacked for trying too hard.

•The Sidekick and the Messenger are both wanting to please; they are likely to say "I don't know, whatever you want" rather than voice their own opinion.

•The Target, which is the worst role, can be outside or inside the clique. In either case, she is treated badly. This person apologizes when she is angry. A Provocative Target doesn't recognize social clues easily, so she doesn't appear to be listening when peers give her "obvious" social clues.

•The Floater, or real man or woman, is truly confident, not completely invested in having "in the box" characteristics, and can move among groups. Floaters keep to their original plan and don't treat old friends differently when new friends are around.

People are not locked into one role their whole life but can change roles.

Her Message

It is best to have one true friend, have one thing you feel competent at, and one adult champion. If you are the Target, say you are sorry, thank others for trusting you, and say that together we will work on it. If you are the subject of aggression, take a breath, get all the facts, remember that no one is a bad person, and that people must be held responsible for their actions.

She used the SEAL acronym to put feelings to work: S (stop): breathe, listen and think when and where, now or later; E (explain: explain what happened that you don't like and what it is you want; A (affirm): acknowledge your feelings; and L (lock): lock in the relationship or lock it out. You don't have to do all four steps to be successful but should do what you can.

You need to establish your own pattern of behavior. Think about what is important to you, e.g., trust, loyalty, being yourself, standing up for yourself. Think about your friends and their qualities. Do their qualities match what you believe to be important? If not, ask yourself why you are in the relationship.

Families need to talk about what are important values. For example, she mentioned most children do a lot of instant messaging, but some of it is evil. Families need to discuss what types of instant messaging are against family values, and then set consequences if family rules are broken. Everyone needs to sign the document, either in front of a religious person or a notary. Parents also need to talk about social justice. If they see someone who is the victim of cruelty, it is important that they speak out.

Congressman Wolf's Town Meeting

on Teen Substance Abuse

Congressman Frank Wolf hosted a town meeting on teen substance abuse at McLean High School on April 4, 2005. Speakers included John Walters, Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy; Special Agent Kenneth Abrams of the Drug Enforcement Administration; author Koren Zailckas; MADD National President Wendy Hamilton; Dr. Samir Fakhry, Head of Inova Fairfax Hospital's Trauma Center; and four students from Madison High School: Nick Stancampiano, Tara Hendleman, Alison Eck, and Becca Verley.

Congressman Wolf

In his introduction to the meeting, Congressman Wolf noted that teens who start drinking by age 15 are four times more likely to become alcoholics than people who start drinking after they turn 21. He said that .08 alcohol blood level is the law in all 50 states and DC; its adoption is credited with saving about 500 lives per year.

John Walters

John Walters said there has been a 17% decline in the use of drugs between 2001 and 2004. Substance abuse is a disease spread by behavior. It creates a chemical imbalance in the brain that results in a craving and feeling unwell when not using drugs. The vast majority of addicts deny they have a problem so colleagues may be unaware of the addiction. He noted the alarming statistic that 45% of teens report not being worried about getting into a car driven by someone who is drunk or high. Because the disease is spread by behavior, when more peers choose to abstain, their peers will follow. Parents play an important role as well, since "losing respect of parents is an enormously powerful motivation" for teens to abstain from substance use. He supports random drug testing and notes that testing does not turn drug users to alcohol. However, he acknowledged that testing doesn't work well for alcohol.

Ken Abrams

Officer Abrams gave an overview of the drugs that are being used and their effects. He said marijuana is addictive. Ecstasy, or MDMA, is sold at raves and is used in outdoor parties in remote areas. Young teens sniff, huff or snort lighter and cleaning fluids, which cuts off oxygen to the brain and can cause death. Oxycontin, which is a pain reliver, produces heroin‑like effects. Methamphetamine is cheap and is being produced in home laboratories in the Shenandoah Valley, particularly around Harrisonburg. The success rate of persons who undergo treatment for methamphetamine addition is less than 10%. GHB, or liquid ecstasy, is known as the date rape drug.

Koren Zailckas

Koren has written a book, Smashed: The Story of a Drunken Girlhood about her experiences as a heavy drinker in high school and college. She lived by the philosophy of "work hard, play hard" so she studied during the week and got very drunk on Friday night. She said that girls are more susceptible to the effects of alcohol since they weigh less than boys and have more percent body fat. She believes the don't drink and drive message is the only ones teens get. They don't really believe alcohol is bad. Parents need to talk to their children when they are 11 and 12 about the dangers of drinking. When asking teens about the behavior of their peers, don't ask for names of friends who drink; it is easier for teens to talk about "people" who drink or about characters on TV than to talk about specific friends. She reminded parents they must lead by example: parents shouldn't take a stiff drink after a tough day at the office or come home tipsy from a party. Parents need to lock the liquor cabinet. Colleges need stiffer consequencws for drunkenness. The community needs to address the impact of alcohol advertising.

Wendy Hamilton

Wendy noted that studies show the brain continues to develop until the early 20's so drinking in the teen years has a negative effect on brain development. It is important for the community to find healthy ways for kids to take risks so they don't resort to alcohol. Get in the habit of kissing your child before bed every night; when they are older, it is a good way to check for alcohol on their breath.

Dr. Samir Fakhry

Dr. Fakhry reported that trauma is the leading cause of death for persons under the age of 45. About 42,000 deaths per year are associated with motor vehicles, and 40% are alcohol‑related. In Northern Virginia, the ratio is about one in three motor vehicle deaths is alcohol‑related. Fifty percent of motor vehicle deaths occur at the scene before any medical help arrives. In 2002 in Fairfax County, there were 4,055 crashes involving teens. There are 11,000 new teen drivers in the county each year. To help combat the teen driving problem, the Injury Prevention Center at the Trauma Center hosts a program called Teen DUI Reality Check where teens visit a trauma center and see firsthand the impact of traffic accidents. He advised attendees always to wear their seat belts and to drive defensively.

Students

The Madison students said the drugs in this community are marijuana, cocaine, and Ecstasy. There is a common feeling that it is no fun to go to a football game unless you're drunk.

Congressman Wolf

Congressman Wolf closed the session by saying the answer to teen substance abuse is prevention, intervention, and treatment. The most effective messages are personal stories, showing how precious life is, and more student/adult panels every year.

McLean High School PTSA Panel

on Health and Wellness

On March 16, 2005 the McLean High School PTSA offered a program for parents on Health and Wellness. The speakers were: Susan Belardi, a certified personal trainer and fitness instructor; Debra Tucker, the MHS school psychologist; Craig Pippin, owner of Players Edge sports training facility; and Helen Emsellem, M.D., Medical Director of the Center for Sleep and Wake Disorders in Chevy Chase.

Physical Health and Wellness

Susan Belardi explained the importance of nutrition. If a teen won't eat certain healthy foods, she suggested adding them to foods they do like, for example, putting broccoli on pizza. She advised parents to increase whole grains and avoid white flour products. She cited statistics showing that teens usually gain in the summer and winter months and that, if they eat healthier in the spring and fall, they are more likely to adopt those eating habits the rest of the year. If students are overweight and inactive, she stressed the importance of explaining the adverse health impacts of that behavior and sending them to a training professional to establish an exercise program. Craig Pippin added that students also find exercise more fun if they do it with a friend. For athletes who get shin splints, Susan said the most common causes are inappropriately fitted footwear (buy the best shoes and socks available) and overly tight hamstrings (do more stretching before and after exercise, and after showering). However, she said that if the problem persisted after several weeks, a doctor should be consulted).

Stress and Depression

Debra Tucker said that students often feel stressed when they cannot live up to the expectations their parents have in terms of their performance in academics, athletics, sports, fine arts, and the social arena. Stress can also result from changes in the family (e.g., death, separation), peer relationships, and body image. Many juniors and seniors break down because they can't take the pressure. High school for today's students is more stressful than when their parents were in high school, in part because there is more anxiety in the world. Craig Pippin added that parents put great pressure on student‑athletes to go to "good colleges." Debra Tucker also said that part of the estrangement seniors have with their parents is their way of creating separation as they go off to college. If a parent believes their child is depressed, it is important to also get a good physical exam because the problem might be a physical one.

Sleep

Helene Emsellem said lack of sleep has a major impact on academic, athletic, and driving performance. One's ability to fall asleep is based in part on your own behavior (e.g., what time you went to bed last night will affect what time you will be able to fall asleep tonight), whether it is light or dark, and how long it has been since you woke up. In puberty, there is a shift in one's internal circadian clock. The internal set point is changed to go to sleep later. Teens often can't fall asleep until midnight but then must get up at 6 to go to school, while at this age they really need about 9 ½ hours of sleep per night. Alcohol also disrupts nighttime sleep. She suggested explaining the above information to teens, show empathy for their need to get up early during the week, and point out the damage done by staying up late on weekends. Suggest that they exercise, don't nap during the day, and do as much morning preparation as they can the night before (e.g., shower, organize their papers) so they can get up as late in the morning as possible.

PTSA Panel on
Parent Responsibilities for Teen Drinking & Driving

On March 16, 2005 the McLean High School PTSA offered a program for parents on the legal responsibilities parents have for their children’s behavior. Ed Culbertson, an attorney with Bucholtz and Culbertson, and Officer Thomas Harrington, the School Resource Officer at Marshall High School, spoke to parents.

Laws Affecting Teens

It is illegal for anyone under 21 to possess an alcoholic beverage.

•Maximum sentence of 12 months in jail and/or a $2500 fine

•Minimum sentence of 50 hours of community service and/or a $500 fine

•May also lose driver’s license for up to a year

It is illegal to possess alcohol on public school grounds.

•Fine up to $1,000

•Up to 6 months in jail

It is illegal to buy alcohol with an altered,

fictitious or simulated document (Fake ID)

•Fine of at least $500 but not more than $2500

•At least 50 hours of community service

•Up to 12 months in jail

•Possible suspension of license for up to 12 months

Penalties for drinking and driving

If blood alcohol content is between .02% and .08%:

•License suspended for 7 days after arrest and possibly up to 6 months

•May receive $500 fine and/or jail term

If blood alcohol content is .08%

(the adult limit) or higher:

•Mandatory minimum $250 fine and revocation of driver’s license for one year for the first offense

Laws Affecting Adults

Adult purchases of alcohol for a minor:

•Fine up to $2500 and/or up to 12 months in jail

If a parent knowingly or unknowingly provides alcohol to a minor or fails to see that alcohol use occurs, the parent can be held responsible if someone:

•Gets into a fight and hurts someone

•Falls and hurts themselves or someone else

•Sexually assaults someone

•Damages property

•Dies from drinking too much

•Injures or kills someone while driving

Driving Requirements

Learner’s Permit

•Must be 15 years, 6 months to apply

•A licensed driver 21 years or older must be seated next to him/her at all times (if the accompanying person is a family member, they must be 18 years or older)

•Must hold license for 9 months before applying for driver’s license

•A teen may not carry more than one passenger under 18 (except family members)

•May not drive between midnight and 4 AM

Driver’s License

•Teen must be at least 16 years, 3 months before applying for a license

•Parents must certify that the teen has 40 hours of behind-the-wheel driving experience, at least 10 hours of which were after sunset in order for the teen to receive the license

•For the first year (that is, at least until 17 years, 3 months), the teen may only have one passenger under 18 in the car

•After the first year, until age 18, the teen may carry no more than 3 passengers under 18

•Curfew of midnight to 4 AM applies except in an emergency, driving to/from work or school-sponsored event, or when accompanied by a parent or other adult acting in place of a parent

•If receiving a demerit point conviction before age 20, first violation requires attendance at a driver improvement clinic, second violation requires license suspension for 90 days, and third conviction results in revocation of license for one year

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Ed Culbertson reminded parents they always have the authority to pull a teen’s driver’s license since it is the parents’ responsibility to oversee their child’s driving. Parents may be responsible for restitution and compensation for victims of their children’s crime (e.g., assault, vandalism). Insurance may not cover these costs.

Officer Harrington reported that, since September 2004, there have been 22 driving fatalities of persons under 18 in the DC/MD/VA area. Only two involved alcohol; all the others involved speed. He reminded parents that it takes almost the length of a football field to stop a car going 55 miles per hour. He suggested that parents search on “teen driving” on the web to get a list of defensive driving programs. The Fairfax County Police Department offers a one-day Saturday defensive driving program at their track in Chantilly; information about it is available on their website.

Schools don’t teach driving any more for liability and insurance reasons.

Officer Harrington said that about one-half of violations for “failure to pay full time and attention” are cell phone-related. He also noted that teens don’t realize they must come to a complete stop before turning right on red.

Officer Harrington said that scaring kids does work. He suggested taking them to an ER unit or spending a morning in traffic court to understand the significance of their driving actions..

The Mind of a Middle School Child

About 100 parents heard an SCC‑sponsored panel on April 27, 2005 on the Mind of the Middle School Child. Serving on the panel were: Greg Hood and Michele Boak, Directors of Student Services at Longfellow and Cooper Middle Schools, respectively; and Mitchell Kamins and Judy Bryden, guidance counselors at the respective schools. SCC Board Member Leslie Metge moderated the discussion.

Panelists introduced the topic by indicating how unsure middle school students are of themselves. Mitch Kamins said their primary goals are achieving and belonging. Judy Bryden said they don't want to be invisible and want positive recognition. Greg Hood helped provide perspective by capturing their thought "if I am not walking with someone in the hallway or talking to someone in the lunch line, what will others think?"

How would parents know if something is on their child's mind?

Mitch said that some children will tell you outright but others will just change their behavior. Michele Boak stressed that listening is very important. They may try to tell you something but you have to listen carefully to hear it. Ask a question to solicit their ideas. Mitch added that when they say they have a problem, they want you to listen to them, not fix it for them. Also, if you ask how school went today, you will get the automatic answer "fine." Instead, ask what three things happened in school today that made them laugh. Greg said that studies show the average time spent with middle school students in quality time is 13 minutes per week. Parents may think they are listening to their children but their mind is on something else and children can sense that.

How do parents advise their children to resist pressure in destructive ways?

Greg advised parents to make sure children know their expectations. Teach them to stand up for themselves, to be assertive but not aggressive. Judy said to tell them no, we don't do that here. Also, it is unnecessary to tell your children everything you did as a teen; you may feel that they will accept your statement as proof you know what you are talking about but they will take it as permission to make the same mistakes you did. Michele suggested requiring time together and to authorize your children to blame you when they tell their friends they are not allowed to do something. Mitch suggested making family dinners a normal practice. He also noted that it is OK to say no and mean it; their role is to keep asking and yours to not give in.

What role does the media play in affecting behavior?

Mitch responded that it plays a huge role for all of us, not just children. Judy said some kids can see through the ads but others cannot. She advised that parents can rely on the school dress code to inform children that certain clothing is inappropriate. Greg added that reality shows give the impression that any behavior is acceptable if it helps you win; parents need to speak to their children about behaviors they see on TV that are wrong.

What is the extent of alcohol and drug use?

Mitch said there have been no suspensions this year due to possession on campus. Students are well aware of school rules and the severe consequences for being caught with alcohol or drugs on school grounds and so staff see almost no use at school. Instead, kids get high at home or at their friends' homes. Besides alcohol, which is by far the biggest problem, students at this age also use inhalants, such as spray starch and deodorant. He advised parents to attend a "bong show" (a presentation by the county on drug paraphernalia offered periodically throughout the year) so they can recognize drug materials if their children have them. Michele suggested looking for red flags such as new friends, behavior changes, more secretive behavior, slip in grades and less sense of urgency for completing projects. If parents sense a problem, they should talk to their child's counselor. Judy, as a veteran parent, suggested searching their room without telling them if you suspect improper behavior. Mitch added that he would search their room but invite them to go with you. Tell them you have concerns and are not sure the family is safe. If you don't find anything, reiterate that you don't condone underage consumption of alcohol. Be sure your own alcohol use is consistent with your message: that you don't overuse, or rely on alcohol to relieve stress after a long day. Mitch observed that alcohol users tend to be takers, and that one way to prevent alcohol use is to make sure your children are givers; require them to do chores and get used to helping others. In response to a specific question about the extent of use outside the school, Jan Auerbach cited the 2001 and 2003 student behavior surveys as showing that 17% of 8th graders reported consuming alcohol within the past 30 days.

How much sexual pressure is there?