Fall 2005 Newsletter

President's Message

As you can see from our masthead, SCC has a new look. Thanks to the Drug-Free Communities grant we received last year, we were able to redesign our logo and brochure, as well as build a tabletop display we can take to events to inform attendees about SCC. We hope these materials will bring more attention to our efforts to foster responsible decision-making by our youth, and enhance our role as a focal point for these activities within the community.

Last year's grant also enabled us to expand programming at the elementary level, where behaviors affecting ethical decision-making are already being formed. We initiated our first Sixth Grade Ethics Day involving three schools. We also supported parenting classes at three schools. We hosted a program for rising 7th grade parents so they could help their children make a smooth transition from elementary to middle school.

I am very pleased and gratified to announce that SCC has won a second Drug-Free Communities grant this year. Under the new grant guidelines, this grant is now renewable without competition for the following three years (see story on pg. 8). A major focus of this new grant is to broaden our role as coordinator of youth development programs within the community. We will be reaching out to other organizations in the McLean/Great Falls area (religious, school, parent, medical, civic, business, etc.) to learn of their needs and interests, to collaborate on programs, and leverage resources. Already a couple of churches have sought our advice and assistance on expanding their youth programming.

We have just hired a Director of Community Relations–Sheri Berman (see pg. 7). Sheri's major function will be to reach out to community groups to explain our role and encourage partnerships to achieve our common goal of a safe community where children learn to become sound citizens. The new grant provides less funding than last year's for implementing programs and thus makes it even more imperative to work together and to identify new funding opportunities.

Our goal is to eliminate unethical, unhealthy, or illegal youth behaviors.. These behaviors include alcohol and drug consumption, risky sexual activity, cheating, bullying, vandalism, shoplifting, depression and eating disorders. Success in preventing risky behaviors is always difficult to prove. The federal grant requires us to track youth alcohol and drug use as an indicator of success. We are again indebted to Janie Strauss for her assistance in designing Fairfax County Public School's biannual youth behavior survey, to be administered this fall, so that we can get the data needed to report to SAMHSA.

The recent untimely death of a Great Falls teen who was a student at Potomac School is a reminder that much remains to be done. Many worthy programs are still awaiting funding and labor to implement them. We ask for your continued support to make this community the kind of place for our youth that we all want it to be.

Jan Auerbach

SCC 2004-2005 Annual Report:

August 2005

The Safe Community Coalition has a three-part mission:

1. Present programs focused on youth skills with emphasis on upper elementary and middle school children,

2. Present programs to develop parenting skills, and

3. Facilitate increased community collaboration.

SCC offers programs for youth, parents, and members of the community in collaboration with other community sectors concerned about the safety of our youth: schools, PTAs, churches, businessmen, police, the medical community, and civic organizations. This report lists the activities we conducted to meet those objectives.

On October 1, 2004 SCC received a $72,000 grant from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) to operate our programs. This Federal grant enabled SCC to expand significantly its programming for the year.

Youth Programs

▪A Middle School Forum on March 17 in which 16 McLean and Langley High School students facilitated discussions among about 60 Longfellow and Cooper Middle School students on alcohol and drugs, peer relationships, self-esteem, stress, family communication, respect, and bullying. While the students were meeting, school counselors and teachers met and expressed concern about instant messaging, cheating, and parenting issues.

▪An elementary school peer mediation workshop on January 24 in which about 40 middle and high school students trained in peer mediation skills helped elementary guidance counselors train 100 elementary students from McLean public schools in peer mediation skills.

▪Three after-school tutoring programs (Cooper-Forestville, Cooper-Great Falls and Longfellow-Timber Lane) in which about 50 middle school students worked one-on-one with an elementary school student one afternoon per week. In addition, 20 upper elementary students at Great Falls Elementary tutored students in lower grades at that school. The Fairfax County Board of Supervisors funded these programs.

▪Initiation of a weekly after-school tutoring program between McLean High School students and 2nd graders at Timber Lane Elementary School.

▪Middle School After School program, involving about 50 students from Cooper and Longfellow at the Old Firehouse Teen Center after school five days a week for recreation and community service activities.

▪SCC assisted Longfellow Middle School to establish an after-school program at the school for three days per week for fifteen students. SCC paired Longfellow with the McLean Community Center staff who operated the program.

▪An Elementary Ethics program on March 4 for all 250 6th graders attending Kent Gardens, Franklin Sherman, and Timber Lane schools. Students discussed cheating, bullying, and shoplifting.

▪Support of McLean High School's McLeadership program, in which 50 upper classmen are paired with freshmen to help ease their transition to their new school and to serve as positive role models.

▪Major funding of Langley High School's Senior Ethics Day for 500 seniors. The all-day program, held at Gannett's headquarters in Tysons Corner, focused on small group discussions of a variety of ethical issues. Over 60 community leaders facilitated these discussions.

▪Support of Homework Haven, a weekly after-school tutoring program at Cooper Middle School using students from Langley High School

▪Presentations at both Langley and McLean High Schools by a recovered drug addict, Scot Anthony Robinson, known as the Vision Warrior. After his talk at Langley, he met in small groups and one-on-one with students, and stayed in E-Mail contact with several of them after he returned to New York. At McLean, he attended government classes and met with students who heard him the year before to reinforce his message of leading a responsible life and helping peers do the same.

▪Student Connection, a program whereby current high school students welcome transfer students into their school.

▪All-night grad parties at McLean and Langley High Schools

▪Advocacy of consistent application of the pledge taken by student participants in after-school activities not to drink or take drugs

▪Distribution of teen crisis cards, which are wallet-size cards containing hotline and other numbers to help teens in times of need, to local high and middle schools

Parenting Programs

▪Two panel discussions on stress at Langley High School, one in the fall and one in the spring. Panels included staff from Langley High School and Cooper Middle School, local mental health professionals and students.

▪A presentation on April 12 for parents and children by Rosalind Wiseman, author of ‘Queen Bees and Wannabes.’ Ms. Wiseman discussed bullying, peer pressure, and the importance of establishing one's own identity

▪Guidance staff from Longfellow and Cooper Middle Schools spoke to 100 parents on April 27 on the social and emotional changes occurring in children as they begin middle school.

▪A six-session workshop for 45 parents taught by two guidance counselors from Longfellow Middle School.

▪Three six-week parenting sessions for elementary parents—at Colvin Run, Forestville, and Chesterbrook Elementary Schools

▪Support of a series of six-session computer training courses for 20 parents at Timber Lane Elementary School.

Community Collaboration

▪Reception in October for public and private school principals, key faculty and staff, and PTA presidents to meet and network with one another. Café Oggi donated the buffet dinner.

▪Teen Summit. On February 6, 40 adults and 25 students met for four hours to discuss safe social alternatives and dating; alcohol, drugs, and peer pressure; bullying, harassment, and typecasting; parent-student communication; and suicide, depression, and self-mutilation. Follow-up meetings were held to prioritize the recommendations, which were factored into SCC's programs for 2005-2006.

▪Project Hospitality, a northern Virginia regional program to enlist the support of area hotels and restaurants to ensure an alcohol and drug-free prom night.

▪An awards reception to honor 120 students and 60 adults whose efforts were essential to successful implementation of the above programs.

▪A booth at McLean Day in May to disseminate information about the Coalition's programs.

▪Three newsletters reporting on SCC activities and containing parenting tips. The newsletter and other information also appear on the SCC website, www.safecommunitycoalition.com.

▪Forty-five teachers from Potomac private school and Chesterbrook, Kent Gardens, and Haycock public schools received training in Responsive Classroom, a program designed to make the school day more efficient and to incorporate character education throughout the curriculum. The course was taught by a Fairfax County Public School trainer and was held at Potomac School—a true public/private partnership.

Financial Balance

In addition to the SAMSHA grant of $72,000, SCC also received $15,000 from Fairfax County Public Schools' Safe and Drug Free Youth Office. During the year, 111 people became members or renewed their membership in SCC. These members donated more than $5300, bringing the total funds available to more than $92,000. By the end of June, SCC had spent $36,064 of the SAMHSA grant funds, $8,919 of the SDFY grant funds, and $754 of its own funds, for a total of $45,737. (The SAMHSA grant fiscal year ends on September 30, by which time SCC expects to use all of the $72,000 that had been allocated.) In addition, the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors provided $18,000 for the middle school after school programs. The Coalition's carryover balance stands at about $24,000.

Closing words

The Coalition is truly a group representing many different sectors of the community, all of whom are interested in providing a safe, drug-free environment for our youth. Thanks go to the Coalition board and many others throughout the community for developing and implementing the many fine programs summarized above.

Sportsmanship and adult behavior

at athletic events

McLean Youth Athletics (MYA) has been training parents and coaches regarding appropriate sportsmanship and behavior at athletic events. Programs have already been held for soccer and football and are now being scheduled for basketball.

The program MYA is using is called "Positive Coaching Alliance" or PCA. PCA was established at Stanford University in 1998. PCA believes that winning is a goal in youth sports but that there is a second, more important goal of using sports to teach life lessons through positive coaching.

In the United States, youth are dropping out of sports at an alarming rate. A major contributing factor is the “win at all cost” mentality of many parents and coaches, which creates a pressure-filled environment for kids and ultimately turns them away from sports. According to Michigan State University's Institute for the Study of Youth Sports, children participating in organized sports tend to achieve higher results in school, develop excellent interpersonal skills, and lead healthier lives. PCA provides live, research-based training workshops and practical tools for coaches, parents, and leaders who operate youth sports programs to get them on the same page about what it means to Honor the Game.

MYA has scheduled a Double-Goal Coach Workshop for basketball coaches Sat., Nov., 19 from 9 to 11 a.m. at the McLean Community Center. This workshop will provide coaches with tools they can use to become "double-goal" coaches (coaches who want to both win AND develop the character of their players). A program specifically for parents is still being planned. For more information, please contact Barbara Bleiweis at Barbara.Bleiweis@oracle.com

Barbara Coloroso

Barbara Coloroso spoke to about 150 McLean area parents on September 26, 2005. Ms. Coloroso is the founder of KidsAre WorthIt! in Littleton, Colorado. She is an internationally recognized speaker and author in the areas of parenting, teaching, school discipline, non-violent conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice. Below is a summary of her presentation.

Critical Life Messages

Every day your child needs to hear: 1. I believe in you, 2. I trust in you, 3. I know you can handle it, 4. You are listened to, 5. You are cared for, and 6. You are very important to me. Children need our time, our affection, and our sense of optimism. Teach your children to care deeply, share generously, and help willingly. Raise them to extend themselves. Teach children to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not because there are any rewards. There is now a whole generation of adults who grew up getting stars or stickers for good deeds and who believe every good deed should be rewarded. They have lost sight of the fact that the good deed is a reward in itself. People feel better about themselves when they serve others. Children should get allowances to learn how to control spending, learn to save, and to give to others. Allowances should not be rewards for doing chores that should be done anyway.

Teaching Children to Make Responsible Decisions

Ms. Coloroso believes parents need to teach their children to think for themselves. Teach children how to think, not what to think. They should believe: 1. I like myself, 2. I can think for myself, and 3. There is no problem so great it can't be solved. Realities you accept, problems you solve. She gave the example of her daughter carrying the grandmother's birthday cake and dropping it on the floor; you cant undo the messed-up cake but you can either repair it so it is presentable or buy a cake to replace it.

Invite children even at very young ages to make choices. Don't intervene unless their choice is illegal, immoral, or unhealthy. Have a plan to increase responsibility as children get older. Two year olds can choose between wearing red or blue pajamas to bed. Five year olds can choose among three outfits to wear to school. Let them wear shoes on the wrong feet to school; no teenager ever walked into high school with shoes on the wrong feet. A teacher who was having trouble getting her students to put gloves on and button their coats before going outside to play held up a slab of red meat. She explained that organs can freeze in cold weather and end up looking like the slab of meat. No child wanted his/her organs to look like that so they bundled up.

Dealing with Mistakes

Punishment is adult-oriented, requires judgment, imposes power from without, arouses anger and resentment, and invites more conflict. Discipline uses logical and realistic consequences and teaches children to make good decisions and solve problems. Show children what they have done wrong, give them ownership of the problem, give them choices of ways to solve the problem they created, and let them implement one of those choices while leaving their dignity intact. From each mistake children should learn to fix what they did, figure out how not to let it happen again, and heal the person they harmed.

For children under two and a half, distract them from inappropriate behavior, disorient them (i.e., swoop them up and cause them to forget what they were doing), or disengage them (i.e., take them to a different place). The only purpose of "time out" is to give you a chance to calm down and plan what you are going to do; it should not be a punishment itself. Don't demand an "I'm sorry" but children should learn that the statement is part of the healing process. Don't wag your finger at your child; instead, put it in your mouth to give you time to think about what you should be doing and get it out of your child's face.

Recognize that at two years old children rebel against their mother. At five they rebel against both parents. By puberty they rebel against all adults.

Ms. Coloroso gave an example of two siblings fighting over what program to watch on TV to illustrate typical parental responses. The brick wall response turns off the TV and says nobody watches anything. The jellyfish pleads with the children not to fight, or gets each child his/her own TV. (Thirty percent of all children have TVs in their room; Ms. Coloroso believes children should not have TVs in their room and their TV watching time should be minimal.) The backbone turns off the TV and says it will be turned on when they come up with a plan. Don't interfere with the plan they develop unless one tries to use force on the other. If you see a pattern of the younger child continuing to get a raw deal, wait for teachable moments and give the younger one some tips for how to negotiate, or point out to the older one that they are taking advantage of the situation.

Let children know that just because something isn't wrong doesn't mean it is right. Intent matters as much as content, circumstances, and intended and unintended consequences.

Be mindful with a wise heart. Once in awhile it is OK to bring a forgotten term paper, gym clothes, or lunch bag to school. Just don't do it routinely. Consider whether it is caring or hand-holding.

Bullying

Bullying is a conscious, willful hassle activity where the bully gets pleasure from someone else's pain. It is about contempt for another human being. Conflict is inevitable but violence is not. The behavior has to be learned, but can also be unlearned. There are three forms of bullying: verbal (often now through cell phones and the internet), physical, and relational (shunning, rumor, gossip, exclusion). Middle school children are heavily into sexual bullying. Parents contribute to the mystique of sexual behavior among children by not using correct terms for sexual body parts. She noted there are over 100 slang terms for penis but only one word for ankle. Teachers need to act decisively when they hear children using swear words toward another child; they need to say "No more, not here, never."

Kids don't tell their parents if they are victims of bullying because they believe their parents will intervene and make the situation worse. Or they think adults won't do anything but consider the incident just part of growing up. Parents need to teach their children the difference between tattling and telling: tattling is to get a kid in trouble, whereas telling is to help a kid get out of trouble. Bullicide is the ultimate retribution by a victim of bullying. Of the 18 incidents since 1980, all bullying victims who later committed murder were short, bright, and had been sexually assaulted.

Bystanders play a large role in bullying behavior. Parents need to teach their children to have integrity, civility, and compassion to stand up for victims of bullying. You don't have to be everyone's friend but you must honor their humanity. Integrity involves discerning what is right, acting when the burden is heavy, and speaking out.

Additional Points

Parents may lament having strong-willed pre-schoolers but these children are easier on parents in later years. They are never easily led by anybody, and that includes their peers when they are teens.

When a child brings home a term paper or report card, say "tell me about it" rather than express joy or disappointment. That way you will find out how the child feels. Perhaps the child is elated with a C+ in their most difficult subject and your initial disapproval of that grade would have been a big disappointment to them. If your child gets very good grades, ask how they can share that gift with others, such as tutoring other children.

Fathers teach their daughters who to love, while mothers teach them how to love. Mothers teach their sons who to love, while fathers teach them how to love.

Teach children not to betray a trust but they may have to lie to do so. Ms. Coloroso cited an example during the Holocaust of lying to German soldiers about the presence of Jews.

Moral dilemmas are created when two virtues are in conflict. Teach children to resolve those dilemmas in a way that maintains everyone's integrity.

Be playful with your kids. Remember to laugh.

Take a half hour for yourself every day. Kids are worth your time, but so are you worth your time.

The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander

Barbara Coloroso provided a handout on bullying at her talk on September 26. The handout contained excerpts from her book, The Bully, the Bullies, and the Bystander, published in 2002. Here are the contents of the handout:

The Bully

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big; some are small; some bright and some not so bright; some attractive and some not so attractive; some popular and some disliked by almost everybody.

Bullying is a conscious, willful and deliberate hostile activity, intended to harm. The four markers of bullying are:

1. An imbalance of power

2. Intent to harm

3. Threat of further aggression

4. When bullying escalates unabated—terror

Bullying is not about anger, or even about conflict. It's about contempt—a powerful feeling of dislike toward someone considered to be worthless, inferior or undeserving of respect. Contempt comes with three apparent psychological advantages that allow kids to harm others without feeling empathy, compassion or shame. These are:

1. A sense of entitlement—the right to control, dominate, subjugate, and abuse another human being

2. An intolerance toward difference

3. A liberty to exclude—to bar, isolate, and segregate a person deemed not worthy of respect or care

Adults sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between teasing, which is normal social interaction, and taunting, which is a form of bullying. The differences are:

Teasing

1. Allows the teaser and person teased to swap roles

2. Isn't intended to hurt the other person

3. Maintains the basic dignity of everyone involved

4. Pokes fun in a lighthearted, clever, and benign way

5. Is meant to get both parties to laugh

6. Is only a small part of the activities shared by kids who have something in common

7. Is innocent in motive

8. Is discontinued when person teased becomes upset or objects to the teasing

Taunting

1. Is based on an imbalance of power and is one-sided: the bully taunts, the bullied kid is taunted

2. Is intended to harm

3. Involves humiliating, cruel, demeaning, or bigoted comments thinly disguised as jokes

4. Includes laughter directed at the target, not with the target

5. Is meant to diminish the sense of self-worth of the target

6. Induces fear of further taunting or can be a prelude to physical bullying

7. Is sinister in motive

8. Continues especially when targeted kid becomes distressed or objects to the taunt

Seven steps to stop bullying

1. Discipline (including the three Rs: restitution, resolution, reconciliation)

2. Create opportunities to "do good"

3. Nurture empathy

4. Teach friendship skills

5. Closely monitor TV viewing, video games and computer activities

6. Engage in more constructive, entertaining, energizing activities

7. Teach ways to "will good"

The Bullied

The one thing that all kids who are bullied have in common is that a bully or a bunch of bullies has targeted them. Each one was singled out to be the object of scorn, and thus the recipient of bullying, merely because he or she was different in some way.

The warning signs that a child is a victim of bullying are:

1. Shows an abrupt lack of interest in school, or refuses to go to school

2. Takes an unusual route to school

3. Suffers a drop in grades

4. Withdraws from family and school activities

5. Is hungry after school

6. Steals money from home

7. Makes a beeline to the bathroom when arriving home

8. Is sad, sullen, angry, or scared after receiving a phone call or email

9. Does something out of character

10. Has torn or missing clothing

11. Uses derogatory or demeaning language when talking about peers

12. Stops talking about peers and everyday activities

13. Has physical injuries not consistent with explanation

14. Has stomachaches, headaches, panic attacks, is unable to sleep, sleeps too much, is exhausted

15. Plays alone, or prefers to hang with adults

Kids don't tell adults they are being bullied because:

1. They are ashamed of being bullied

2. They are afraid of retaliation

3. They don't think anyone can help them

4. They don't think anyone will help them

5. They've bought into the lie that bullying is a necessary part of growing up

6. They might believe that adults are part of the lie—they bully, too

7. They have learned that "ratting" on a peer is bad, not cool

If your child is bullied, don't:

1. Minimize, rationalize, or explain away the bully's behavior

2. Rush in to solve the problem for your child

3. Tell your child to avoid the bully

4. Tell your child to fight back

5. Confront the bully or the bully's parents alone

If your child is bullied, do:

1. Say "I hear you; I am here for you; I believe in you; you are not alone in this."

2. Say "It is not your fault."

3. Say "There are things you can do."

4. Report the bullying to school personnel

The four most powerful antidotes to bullying are:

1. A strong sense of self

2. Being a friend

3. Having at least one good friend who is there for you through thick and then

4. Being able to successfully get into a group—and get out when it does not serve you well

Parents should report the bullying incident in the following manner:

1. Arrange a meeting for you and your child with the appropriate person at the school

2. Bring to the meeting the facts in writing—the date, time, place, kids involved, and the specifics of the incidents—and the impact the bullying has had on your child as well as what your child has done to try to stop the bullying that didn't work

3. Work with your child and school personnel on a plan that addresses what your child needs right now in order to feel safe, what she can do to avoid being bullied and to stand up to any future bullying, and whom she can go to for help

4. Find out what procedures the bully will be going through and what kind of support the school is expecting from the parents of the bully

5. If you feel the problem is not being adequately addressed by the school, know that you can express your concerns and let the teacher and/or administrator know that you will take the next step to the school district board office and if necessary—especially in the cases of serious abuse and racist or sexist bullying—to the police.

Schools have a clear role in preventing and stopping bullying. A caring school:

1. Gathers information about bullying at school directly from students

2. Establishes clear schoolwide and classroom rules about bullying

3. Trains all adults in the school to respond sensitively and consistently to bullying

4. Provides adequate adult supervision, particularly in less structured areas, such as on the playground and in the lunchroom

5. Improves parental awareness of and involvement in working on the problem.

The Bystander

Bystanders are the third group of players in this tragedy. They are the supporting cast who aid and abet the bully, through acts of omission and commission. They stand idly by or look away, or they can actively encourage the bully or join in and become one of a bunch of bullies. Injustice overlooked or ignored becomes a contagion that infects even those who thought they could turn away.

Bullying is challenged when the majority stands up against the cruel acts of the minority. Establishing new norms, enforcing playground rules, and increasing supervision are policy decisions that can help reduce the incidents of bullying. Since much of the bullying goes on "under the radar of adults," a potent force is kids themselves showing bullies that they will not be looked up to, nor will their cruel behavior be condoned or tolerated. Kids need not by bystanders. They can become active witnesses, standing up for their peers, speaking out against injustices, and taking responsibility for what happened among themselves.

With care and commitment, adults can rechannel the behaviors of the bully into positive leadership activities; acknowledge the nonaggressive behaviors of the bullied child as strengths that can be developed and are honored; and transform the role of the bystander into that of a witness, someone willing to stand up, speak out, and act against injustice. A daunting task, but a necessary one.

Death by car

Penetrating teens' sense of

invincibility challenges parents

Text Box: NOTE: SCC thanks Steve Cahill, editor, Times Community Newspapers, for permission to reprint this editorial, which appeared in the November 9 issue of The McLean Times.

Most parents are painfully aware that some teenagers operate under a presumption of immortality that blinds them to the latent consequences of the risks inherent in a life of privilege and access.

In hindsight, accounts of the Oct. 30 death of Vanessa Pean, 16, of Great Falls point out some factors that could have been in play when her 2003 Land Rover crashed just after midnight: speed, possibly induced by the approach of a midnight curfew for 16-year-olds with provisional Virginia driver's licenses; deer in Great Falls, more active than usual because it is rutting season; cell phones that now offer text messaging; seat belts, sometimes viewed by teenagers as optional and annoying; and, perhaps the factor parents fear most, possible alcohol use.

Fairfax County Police say it will be 60 to 90 days before toxicology results can prove or disprove whether either of two recent fatalities from weekend car crashes in McLean and Great Falls involved alcohol consumption by young drivers. Both were single-vehicle accidents with no passengers other than the driver.

So plenteous are the amenities of life extended to most young people in this area that they may conceal the greatest risk factors of all: a false sense of invincibility and the accompanying pressure to have too much fun, too fast.

The pain of that realization overcame everyone who attended Miss Pean's tragically joyful memorial service at The Potomac School last week. In a poem she wrote in the third grade about the solar system, one line seemed ironically prescient: "A shooting star is a star that died."

Parents at The Potomac School were already addressing teenage risk factors proactively with a program called "Smart Choices," and parents in the Safe Community Coalition have been addressing them for more than 10 years.

Every year, a new class gets Virginia driver's licenses when they are 16 years and three months old. Although they must take an oath before a judge, quite a few of these new drivers predictably challenge authority and test all the limits.

Parents can never relent. They have to search out new ways to penetrate the normal teenage delusion of invincibility.

It is when teenagers will not listen that they most need to hear how much they are loved, how much they are needed and how much they need to take responsibility, for themselves and for one another.

Everyone must learn that risks and rewards go together. Particularly in the teenage years, cars are risks.

Life is the reward.

Our New Director of Community Relations

Our new federal Drug-Free Communities grant has enabled SCC to enter into a contract with Sheri Berman to work 25 hours per week as SCC's first Director of Community Relations. She will start work November 28.

Sheri is an experienced professional with a strong desire to help children to recognize their self worth, and to know themselves and their ability to make the right decisions. She brings to SCC 18 years of team and project management, communications, and organizational expertise. She possesses strong decision-making, problem solving, interpersonal, and time management skills. For the past 13 years Sheri worked for ICMA Retirement Corporation in Washington, D.C. She has an M.S. in Taxation from The American University and a B.B.S. in Accounting from Baylor University. She has been a classroom volunteer and room parent at Churchill Road School where her two children, son Collin and daughter Maeve, attend. She also teaches religious education at her church and leads a Girl Scout troop. Sheri and her husband Andy have lived in McLean for seven years.

Sheri's primary duty will be to ensure continuity in the role of the Coalition as the focal point in the community for maintaining an alcohol and substance abuse-free environment for our youth. She will establish ongoing relationships with leaders in each sector associated with the coalition: youth, parents, business community, media, schools, youth-serving organizations, law enforcement agencies, religious or fraternal organizations, civic and volunteer groups, healthcare professionals, government agencies, and other organizations involved in reducing substance abuse. She will:

1. Maintain an understanding of what activities each sector is undertaking related to the mission of the coalition

2. Identify what each sector perceives as problems facing our youth, the causes of those problems, and activities needed to address those problems

3. Identify opportunities for collaboration and co-sponsorship

4. Obtain agreements on respective roles in the collaboration

4. Identify gaps in needed programs

She will also be responsible for identifying and pursuing potential sources of funding to support alcohol and substance abuse prevention programs, and for raising awareness of the coalition within the community through enhanced media attention and coalition-building efforts. SCC is most excited to have Sheri join us.

Substance Abuse Treatment for Teens

The Georgetown University Adolescent Health Program is a brief, evidence-based, manualized substance abuse treatment program for DC area adolescents. The program uses a treatment called Motivational Enhancement Therapy/Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-5 (MET/CBT-5). MET/CBT-5 is based on the premise that people are most likely to change when the motivation comes from themselves, rather than being imposed by an adult, parent or a therapist.

The program consists of a comprehensive evaluation, 2 individual and 3 group sessions and 3 follow-up meetings over 12 months after treatment. Parents attend four hours of family support meetings as a part of the program. All treatment is free.

Treatment focuses on:

▪Enhancing intrinsic motivation to change through exploring and resolving ambivalence.

▪Providing feedback to encourage personal responsibility for change.

▪Developing personal goals.

▪Practicing healthful responses to real-life situations.

Some benefits that teens may receive from Georgetown's treatment program are:

▪Development of personal goals

▪Increased problem solving skills

▪Better coping skills

▪Effective refusal skills

▪Development of plans for drug-free activities

▪Increased supportive social network ties

▪Improved self-confidence for dealing with high-risk situations

Treatment Sites

Treatment occurs at one of two locations:

1. Georgetown University Medical Center on Reservoir Road in Georgetown. Free shuttle access from Dupont Circle metro, or

2. Perry School Community Service Center on M Street near New York Avenue in the North Capital Area.

The program is based on federally funded national studies of Adolescent Substance abuse treatment. In a randomized national study of 600 adolescents in outpatient substance abuse treatment, the MET/CBT-5 treatment program demonstrated very positive overall effects as the briefest form of treatment in the study. Compared with treatments that were more than twice as long, MET/CBT-5 had higher rates of abstinence and recovery. MET/CBT-5 had a 50% decrease in problems at 3 months and 25% reduction at 6 months after intake. There are some data available to suggest that the positive results lasted for more than 2 years. The Georgetown program is one of 22 sites supported by a three-year grant from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. This project is under the direction of principal investigator Michael Mason, Ph.D.

For more information or to register, call 202-687-1696, send E-Mail to mjm66@georgetown.edu, or visit http://gumc.georgetown.edu/departments/psychiatry/guadolescenthealth.html.

Local Mentorship Opportunity

Mentors and mentees are invited to join Second Saturdays, a program designed to provide enrichment opportunities for students in Northern Virginia mentoring programs. The Second Saturdays program is located in Great Falls at Forestville Elementary School on Utterback Store Road, just off Leesburg Pike. The second Saturday of every month is devoted to providing children in grades 3-6 with curriculum enrichment and peer tutoring activities. Together mentors and mentees participate in science experiments, learn graphic design, create a stock portfolio or work on creative writing. Activities include:

▪Science: Make your own chemistry lab!

▪Technology: Learn to use PowerPoint, design a webpage, graphic design.

▪Math: Logic and strategy games, stock market challenge, Challenge 24.

▪English: Creative writing, scrap booking.

The program is looking for additional student participants, peer tutors, and adult mentors. If you or your children would like to register, please contact Erin Shea at erin.shea@fcps.edu or call 703-404-6031.

SCC Receives Multi-Year SAMHSA Grant

As of October, 2005 SCC was awarded a $100,000 Drug-Free Communities grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). So long as SCC continues to conduct the activities listed in its grant proposal, it does not have to compete for funding for the following three years. Thus, in essence, this grant is for $100,000 for each of the next four years.

Even though last year's Federal grant was also under the Drug-Free Communities program, in 2004 the program was administered by the Department of Justice (DOJ). DOJ grantees could use the entire grant amount (last year SCC received $72,000) on programs. HHS/SAMHSA has a different philosophy. SAMHSA uses the five-part Strategic Planning Framework: local needs assessment, building capacity in the community to address those needs, planning effective programs to address the needs, implementing those programs, and evaluating their effectiveness.

Because HHS wants to ensure that communities focus on all five components of the Framework, it limits grantees to spending no more than 20% of grant funds on programs. Thus, while last year's grant was for a lesser amount, this year we have $50,000 less to spend on programs than we had last year. Our budget has narrowed that gap to $17,000. We are hoping to fill that gap with private and corporate donations.

Special thanks to West*Group for donating $3800 to fund our 6th grade Ethics program and for providing SCC free copying services. Keith Turner of West*Group, SCC's business liaison, has been very supportive in helping us reach out to the business community for donations. SCC has received another $2200 in private and business donations, briging the total to $6,000 and reducing the amount we still need to raise to $11,000.

Our major initiative under this year's grant is to build capacity in the McLean/Great Falls community to address youth issues. We have just hired a Director of Community Relations (see article on pg. 7 ), whose main function will be establish and/or enhance our relationships with the many other groups in the community who care about youth: schools, PTAs, student organizations, religious organizations, businesses, civic organizations, the medical community, the police department, and many others. Coordinating programs and leveraging resources will help all of us achieve our goal of helping elementary, middle, and high school students make responsible decisions about their lives.

SCC’s 2005-2006 Programs

SCC's vision is a safe community free of youth alcohol and drug use, where children learn to make responsible decisions and become sound citizens. The Safe Community Coalition has a three-part mission:

1. Present programs focused on youth skills with emphasis on upper elementary and middle school children, 2. Present programs to develop parenting skills, and

3. Facilitate increased community collaboration. SCC offers programs for youth, parents, and members of the community in collaboration with other community sectors concerned about the safety of our youth.

In the following list of 2005-2006 programs, board members responsible for the programs are named in parentheses.

I. Ongoing Programs

Youth Programs

▪Student Connection (Tracey Schulman/Rolly Prager)

▪Annual recognition program (Sherry Wells)

▪Reprint the Teen Crisis Card (Jan Auerbach)

▪Grant for McLean/Longfellow tutoring program (Tracey Marsch Kretzer)

▪Grant for Longfellow/Timber Lane, Cooper/Forestville, Cooper/Great Falls tutoring programs and Teen Center after school program

▪Grants to McLean, Langley and TJ all-night grad parties

▪Grant for McLeadership program at McLean High (Tracey Marsch Kretzer)

▪Middle School Forum (Mimi Weisberg, Laura Zoll)

▪Elementary Mediation Workshop (Evelyn Fox)

▪George Mason University Mediation conference for students

Parent and Family Programs

▪SCC Newsletter

▪Six-week parenting courses

Community Programs

▪SCC booth at McLean Day (Elwood Howerton)

▪Project Hospitality (Sherry Wells)

▪SCC Newsletter

▪Faculty-administrator reception (Eileen Culligan, Marilyn Seiber, Laura Zoll, Sherry Wells)

▪Annual recognition program (Sherry Wells)

▪Teen Summit (Cameron Edgar, Laura Zoll)

▪Alcohol/drug adult awareness press conference (Jan Auerbach)

▪Web site (Tom Hamilton)

▪Student Activities Pledge (Jan Auerbach)

▪School staff attendance at professional conferences on character education

II. New Programs

▪Barbara Coloroso speaker on September 26 in McLean High School auditorium to address responsible parenting, including bullying and Instant Messaging (Sharon Burdick, Tracey Kretzer, Mimi Weisberg, Kim Mackay, Susan Gorin, Eileen Culligan)

▪Mentoring and tutoring by high school students of middle school students

▪McLean High/Timber Lane tutoring/mentoring program

▪Chill Spot (after school supervised activity program at McLean High School)

▪Parenting articles in PTA newsletters and school web sites (Jan Auerbach, Kim Mackay)

▪Pre-school parent program (Cameron Edgar)

▪6th grade Ethics Day (Evelyn Fox, Diane Pechstein, Kim Mackay)

▪Mind of a Middle School Child program for rising 7th grade parents (Diane Pechstein)

▪Speaker for parents and students on cheating, plagiarism and source citations

▪Vision Warrior at McLean High School (Laura Zoll)

▪Prom notes (Tracey Marsch Kretzer)

▪Speaker on Sexual Issues for Teenage Girls & Parents: Periods, Pain, Pregnancy and HPV (Marilyn Seiber)

▪Responsive Classroom training program for teachers (Tracey Kretzer)

▪Parent speaker program on bullying and instant messaging (Connie Beyer)

▪Advocate for more supervised after-school activity for middle and high school students that is five days a week and includes recreation

Women’s Health for Teens

On December 6 at 7 p.m. in the McLean Community Center, Dr. Marian Gutierrez will talk to parents and girls about "Women's Health for Teens: Periods, Pain, Pregnancy and HPV." Her talk will cover:

1. Periods- what is normal and what is not? What are the extremes- starting too soon, and too late. How much is too much?

2. Menstrual cramps disable many teens and they don't seek medical attention. There is good treatment available.

3. Prevention of pregnancy.

4. Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)

HPV has been shown to be an important risk factor for cervical cancer. Recommendations for the age for first Pap smear have changed because of this. Age of onset of first sexual experience and number of partners are factors involved in determining when to start screening for HPV.

Dr. Gutierrez plans to talk for 30-40 minutes and allow 30 minutes of questions and answers. Parents and girls in 5th grade and up are invited to attend.

Dr. Gutierrez is currently an Associate Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University. She has also served as director of the OB/GYN Clinic at INOVA Fairfax Hospital.

Helping Teenagers with Stress

The following information comes from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/66.htm.

Physiology of Stress

Some teens become overloaded with stress. When it happens, inadequately managed stress can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, physical illness, or poor coping skills such as drug and/or alcohol use. When we perceive a situation as difficult or painful, changes occur in our minds and bodies to prepare us to respond to danger. This "fight, flight, or freeze" response includes faster heart and breathing rate, increased blood to muscles of arms and legs, cold or clammy hands and feet, upset stomach and/or a sense of dread.

The same mechanism that turns on the stress response can turn it off. As soon as we decide that a situation is no longer dangerous, changes can occur in our minds and bodies to help us relax and calm down. This "relaxation response" includes decreased heart and breathing rate and a sense of well-being. Teens that develop a "relaxation response" and other stress management skills feel less helpless and have more choices when responding to stress.

Parents can help their teens in these ways:

▪Monitor if stress is affecting their teen's health, behavior, thoughts, or feelings

▪Listen carefully to teens and watch for overloading

▪Learn and model stress management skills

▪Support involvement in sports and other pro-social activities

Teens can decrease stress with the following behaviors and techniques:

▪Exercise and eat regularly

▪Avoid excess caffeine intake which can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation

▪Avoid illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco

▪Learn relaxation exercises (abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation techniques)

▪Develop assertiveness training skills. For example, state feelings in polite, firm and not overly aggressive or passive ways ("I feel angry when you yell at me" "Please stop yelling.")

▪Rehearse and practice situations which cause stress, such as giving a speech..

▪Learn practical coping skills. For example, break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.

▪Decrease negative self-talk: challenge negative thoughts about yourself with alternative neutral or positive thoughts. "My life will never get better" can be transferred into "I may feel hopeless now, but my life will probably get better if I work at it and get some help."

▪Learn to feel good about doing a competent or "good enough" job rather than demanding perfection from yourself and others.

▪Take a break from stressful situations. Activities like listening to music, talking to a friend, drawing, writing, or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.

▪Build a network of friends who help you cope in a positive way.

Alternative House: The Abused

and Homeless Children's Refuge

From an article by Judith Dittman, Executive Director

Alternative House provides support for at-risk youth and their families through counseling, shelter, crisis intervention and outreach. Alternative House, one of the oldest runaway shelters for teenagers, began as a small program in 1972 and has evolved into a system of services designed to respond to the changing needs of today's young people.

The Alternative House Emergency Shelter for Teenagers is a completely voluntary short-term crisis intervention program for young people 13 to 17 years old. Each year approximately 175 young people who face a personal crisis, homelessness, or abuse find safe shelter and professional counseling in our residential program. While they are with us, young people receive intensive

individual and group counseling, as well as family counseling (when parents can be contacted and are available). Phone 703-356-6360.

The Shelter is also home to our Toll-Free Hotline (1-800-SAY-TEEN). Affiliated with the National Runaway witchboard, the hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by trained volunteers and counselors. Information, crisis counseling, and referrals are available to any caller.

Alternative House's neighborhood-based Outreach Programs include a Street Outreach Van and neighborhood-based outreach counselors. The Van is equipped with food and clothing and is staffed with counselors who help teens get the information and resources they need. Our neighborhood-based outreach staff helps at-risk youth and their families in family resource centers throughout Fairfax County. Phone 703-820-9039.

Alternative House's AYM (Assisting Young Mothers) program is designed to help pregnant and parenting teens 16-21 years old get the skills they need to be nurturing parents and successful members of the community. AYM includes counseling and support groups as well as a residential program for 18-21 year old women and their children. Young women and their children may stay in the AYM house for 18 months. While there they receive shelter, counseling, education and job readiness skills and their children participate in an early childhood development program. Phone 703-280-2162.