1. Purpose of Teen Summit

The purpose of the Teen Summit is to provide a forum for the discussion by students and community leaders of issues of interest to the students and to identify opportunities suitable for implementation to address the issues.

Seven students from McLean and Langley High Schools and three adults participated in the planning and conduct of the Summit.

Funding was provided by the Rotary Club and a Federal Safe and Drug Free Schools and Community Act grant.

Guidance counselors at McLean and Langley High Schools were requested to provide a list of students to invite. The counselors were asked to nominate students who represented a good cross-section of the student body. Langley counselors nominated 92 students; McLean counselors nominated 35 students. Each student received a mailed invitation. Only six students registered in response to the invitation. A few weeks prior to the Summit, the Student Connector coordinators began to invite all students. One invited all her Leadership Class classmates.Another made an announcement over the PA system during morning announcements. A third visited all three lunch periods and personally asked students to register. All coordinators handed out registration forms. Two conflicts contributed to low student attendance: 1) the SATs had been scheduled for two weeks earlier but were rescheduled to that day due to snow, 2) McLean High School students sponsored a fundraising dance that evening for tsunami victims and many students were involved with decorating the school cafeteria for the event.

Besides the seven coordinators, 16 students registered for the Summit. Of those, 12 actually attended. In addition, eight students came who had not registered. Thus, total student attendance, including facilitators, was 27.

Adults

Invitations were mailed to community leaders, as follows

The Student Committee selected the following six topics:

• Safe Social Alternatives and Dating
• Alcohol, Drugs, and Peer Pressure
• Bullying, Harassment, and Typecasting
• Parent-Student Communication
• Suicide, Depression, and Self-mutilation
• Weight, Self-image, and Eating Disorders

Invitations included an agenda and a registration form. Registrants were asked to indicate on the form which topics they wished to discuss. The following criteria were used to assemble the discussion groups:

• Preferences indicated on registration form
• Equal mix of students and adults
• Student facilitator(s) in each group
• Adult note-taker in each group
• Between eight and ten persons per group

• Parties occur when parents are out of town. Students will go where there is no supervision. Usually the student who lives there didn’t want the party but friends and others showed up.
  
  
• School dances and sporting events are not well attended. There are no after-game dances due to insufficient setup time. Students prefer going where alcohol is.
  
  
• Students have a problem getting to activities and paying for them. The Teen Center has good attendance for Battle of the Bands nights since kids generate student bands in order to play at the Teen Center.
  
  
• Many students have a midnight curfew but don’t adhere to it. Teens don’t think they can have fun if adults are around.

• If parents are going out of town, they should let neighbors know and ask them to check on the house and the students, or have someone stay at the house to “student sit.”
• Parents need to have a plan with the student on what the student should do if friends show up. For example, parents should leave phone numbers of adults the student can call if other teens show up unannounced.
• Parents should let their teen know they will give them a ride home and not make an issue of it, at least that night.
• Have a tailgate-type party before the McLean/Langley football game, followed by a dance or event.
• Parents need to be more involved and responsible for their children.
• Change the Old Firehouse into a “club” atmosphere and open it at 10 or 11 for high schools after middle schoolers leave.
• Have a “21 and under” type club.
• Have a big screen TV at the Old Firehouse and have teen parties for the Super Bowl, March Madness, World Series and Little League series if McLean teams are involved .
• Have a zero tolerance policy for McLean/Langley school vandalism, fights, and alcohol.
• Get local businesses to sponsor dances.
• Ask the Chamber to work with local restaurants to keep them open late exclusively for teens after football games or other special events.
• Parents should always have their daughters meet their date at their home so the parent will know if the daughter is dating an older boy.
• Have a college fair and SAT classes at the Teen Center to make it a familiar “safe haven,” if not social center, for high schoolers where teens can approach adults about stress, alcohol problems, depression; these programs would give students a chance to get to know the adults who work there.
• Have “cheap movie” nights.

• Access to alcohol is easy through older siblings or parents who have plenty in the house in unlocked cabinets.
• Students know of peers who dropped out or got suspended due to alcohol or drug use.
• Students search out lenient parent homes where parents host drinking parties; parents seem unaware that under Virginia law they are contributing to the delinquency of a minor by serving alcohol to them (in New Jersey parents are held responsible if a minor consumes alcohol in their home).
  
• There aren’t sufficient consequences for teens caught with drugs or alcohol before the age of 18; penalties are severe after age 18.
• Vision Warrior is an effective scare tactic.
• Parents think marijuana is not a big deal because they used it when they were younger; they don’t realize that the marijuana available now is a much stronger variety.
• It is harder for police to enforce violations in this community because most violations take place in private homes.
• Careers keep parents out of the home.
• Cigarettes are a gateway drug—the first step in disregarding personal safety.
• A four-day “ski trip” to Canada is promoted in the schools each year but it is really just a drinking party since the legal drinking age in Canada is 18.
• The activities pledge creates greater consequences for athletes who drink or take drugs but drinking is prevalent anyway. Some coaches are stricter than others. The policy is not stressed or enforced and violators are not getting into trouble.
• Some schools use a random drug testing program intended to prevent alcohol and drug use; consequences are non-punitive since the violator is referred for treatment.
• There is a code of silence among teens; they won’t tell adults if their friends are drinking or taking drugs.
• Students don’t think about the consequences but look at drugs and alcohol as a rite of passage.
• Administrators stress the wrong things to students, such as not wearing gang clothing; kids feel lectured to rather than being advised or warned.

b) Recommendations from Discussion Groups and Evaluation Forms

• Need a Vision Warrior-type program for middle schoolers; keep the one at the high school level.
• Educate adults on the dangers of drugs and the differences in drugs today than when they were young.
• Parents need to keep the liquor cabinet locked.
• Focus on keeping children from smoking since cigarettes are a gateway drug.
• Truth commercials are effective.
• The chain of command (principals, activities directors, and coaches) all need to stress a consistent anti-drug/alcohol message and enforce the message consistently.
• Initiate a cadet program where young police officers go into establishments to try to purchase alcohol; the program fosters responsible establishments.
• Have more outreach to parents at games, etc. about the consequences of alcohol and drugs.
• Use the police department’s interactive tools about alcohol/drug fatalities.
• Remind students of later consequences of alcohol/drug use: security clearances for CIA, DoD, etc. require a lie. detector test.
• Stress prevention at middle school level; use high school students in outreach efforts.
• Use non-punitive drug tests for athletes.
• Parents need to strike a balance between being too lenient or too strict; children lose respect for parents at either end of the spectrum.
• Mail a letter home to parents explaining concerns and consequences.
• Administrators need to warn and remind without lecturing.
• Science classes should use a less preachy and more educational approach to the effects of alcohol and marijuana, not “just say no” or “don’t do drugs” but focus on biological consequences.
• Expand the McLeadership program so more students would have positive role models in an older teen.

3) Bullying, Harassment, and Typecasting (3 Groups)

a) Discussion

At the high school level, physical abuse is not much of a problem; the group knew of only three fights at McLean High. Bullying in high school is verbal and non-verbal (e.g., shunning). Bullying is also done through instant messaging.

b) Recommendations from Discussion Groups and Evaluation Forms

• Victims can report bullying indirectly (i.e., through friends) if they fear retribution from the bully if they report directly.
• Publicize the penalties of bullying.
• Educate teachers and faculty to identify episodes and take initiative to stop them.
• Get all adults in a school to be involved in prevention.
• Focus preventive programs at the elementary school level.
• Victims need to find an adult they are comfortable talking to.
• During orientation, counselors need to stress that students should feel comfortable going to them.
• Expand the buddy system (e.g., McLeadership program, seniors/freshmen).
• Victims should consider what behavior is provoking bullying and see if they can change it.
• Develop list of tips on what victims should do.
• Remind students not to pass on bad things said about others.
• Develop multi-media presentations on bullying.
• Discourage racial cliques and profiling.
• Use the morning announcements to educate students about bullying.
• Make it part of the English curriculum to define bullying, help students learn how to tell their parents about bullying incidents, and teach “bystander” students to intervene if they witness bullying.
• Create a Community of Caring or something similar to that; give community service hours as an incentive for students to join; get the Teen Center involved.
• Have the Vision Warrior meet with younger grades.
• Emphasize to middle school students the need to get help if they are being bullied.
• Teach life skills to help combat bullying.
• Have programs to enable students to get to know their counselors when they are freshmen, such as counselor lunches, so students feel comfortable approaching counselors about bullying incidents.
• Suspend students who are guilty of bullying and send them to the supervised Support on Suspension program.
• Establish a Bully Box for students to report bullying incidents anonymously.
• Educate parents on warning signs and strategies for how their children should deal with bullies.
• Improve parent-student communication.
• Have a poster in school hallways with bully characteristics.
• Teach children not to be afraid to do well in school; having good grades doesn’t make you a loser.
• Encourage students to get involved in activities so they are not alone.
• Sponsor relationship classes (a “Gentleman’s Club”) to teach constructive behavior.
• Have student groups present issues and concerns to school staff or PTSA groups.

4) Parent-Student Communication (3 Groups)

a) Discussion

• There is a trend toward when parents are involved and children are well behaved. The pendulum is swinging toward better parenting and children are more valued.
• Many children are left alone after school; when parents get home from work, it is not a high priority to them to have meals with their children, but kids do want to eat with their parents.
• It is the parents’ fault to allow disrespectful language from their children. Children use the language to gain acceptance from their peers.
• Talking back to parents starts in middle school.
• TV serves as a negative influence.
• Parents’ vision of what their children are doing is very different from what is really going on.
• Family dynamics vary. Some children lie to their parents regularly. They don’t want their parents to know what they are doing. Some parents are overly trusting and don’t ask questions or say no. In other cases, children lie because their parents don’t seem interested in what they are doing. If parents are too strict, children will simply lie about what they are doing.
• Lots of parents never talk to their kids.
• Some parents don’t recognize that their kids are older and need to be treated differently.
• Cell phones make it easier to lie about where you are.
• Older kids test limits more.
• If divorced parents don’t talk to each other, children will use that.
• There are gaps in what different generations think is acceptable behavior.
• Some parents are too intense and overly involved in their children’s lives.
• Kids say they don’t want their parents involved but they really do.
• Yelling at children does not work.

c) Recommendations from Discussion Groups and Evaluation Forms

• Good parent-student communication needs to start at a very young age.
• As soon as children start talking back or using disrespectful language, parents should stop it.
• Parents and students need to sit down and be honest with each other.
• It is important for families to have meals together. There should be no excuse. Pick one day a week at first and gradually add days.
• At meals, parents need to take the lead and ask questions about their children’s day. Talk about work, school, sports, current events and issues, and not just grades. Fathers need to be involved in the conversation, too.
• Set consequences for children not coming to the dinner table at the agreed-upon time.
• Going out to eat requires the family to sit down together.
• Parents can use technology to find out what is going on at school.
• Communicate to parents through email.
• Parents need to remain supportive when their children make poor choices or mistakes.
• If parents need to be away for a weekend, they need to make sure an adult is watching their children.
• Reward children for being good.
• Parents need to communicate with other parents. It is important for parents to call and make sure other parents will be present at parties.
• Parents need to set rules and a framework within which to communicate. Parents need to enforce rules consistently. Taking away the car, computer, and/or cell phone are better punishments than grounding. Punishments need to vary depending on the child.
• Children need to learn to negotiate and compromise with parents.
• Parents should attend Saturday Night in the Suburbs to know what goes on.
• Parents need to know their children’s friends.
• Parents need to set good examples.
• Once children are driving, parents need to require their children to let them know where they are.
• Respect is a two-way street. Parents need to teach respect.
• Parents should not be only friends with their children, since they then will not have their children’s respect.

5) Suicide, Depression, and Self-mutilation (2 Groups)



a) Discussion

• Student workload is so great that there is no time to talk to counselors or other adults at school.
• New school schedules make it hard to find the time to talk with counselors.
• Students cut themselves to displace pain.
• Stress leads to depression.
• The McLean area is very competitive academically. There is stress about getting into a good college. There is a great deal of emphasis on being successful. Thomas Jefferson High School is stressful.
• Students seem to have a narrow definition of success and don’t realize there are many ways to succeed.
• Parents are often absent, so they are not around for their children to talk to them.
• There are other outlets besides the phone numbers listed on the Teen Crisis cards.
• Teens perceive counselors as being focused on academics and not approachable on personal issues.
• Counselors don’t initiate contact with individual students.
• There are drug and alcohol prevention programs in schools, but not enough outreach for depression.

b) Recommendations from Discussion Groups and Evaluation Forms

• Friends need to take action if they think their friends are depressed or suicidal.
• Have programs like the Vision Warrior and start them at the middle school level.
• Teach teenagers to deal with stress since it is a reality of life.
• Change the definition of “success” regarding what colleges parents think their children should get into.
• Educate teachers and parents about signs of depression and understanding depression.
• Schools need programs to delineate the signs of depression.
• Educate parents and teachers about Teen Crisis cards. Have the cards distributed in health classes and have the teacher explain the purpose and use of the cards.
• Have representatives from the organizations listed on the Teen Crisis cards talk to students about what services they provide so students would be more likely to call them.
• Develop a better system for distributing Teen Crisis cards since many students are not getting them.
• Someone at school needs to be identified for students to talk to. If counselors are overloaded, perhaps the psychologist should be the designated person.
• Teach students how to self-screen for depression.
• Expand the McLeadership-type program to cover all freshmen and have a similar program at Langley.
• Counselors need to initiate relationships with students.
• The Teen Center needs a written policy regarding what information shared with them needs to be told to parents.
• Actively promote the Teen Center to students at both high schools as a place where there are good adult listeners and advisors.
• Random drug testing would help identify students turning to drugs to ease their depression.
• Press McLean, Langley and Potomac school counselors to actively use the depression screening test .

6) Weight, Self-Image, and Eating Disorders (2 groups)



a) Discussion

• When students are stressed, they tend to eat poorly. Time pressures don’t encourage healthy eating.
• Students, particularly girls, have self image issues. There is a media-induced stereotype that girls should look a certain way. Socio-economic issues increase the pressure.
• Students make offensive comments about other students’ weight and this has a big effect on self-esteem
• Girls think it is cool to be on a diet.
• The problem mostly affects girls but also some boys, especially if they were overweight when they were young.
• In McLean, kids don’t have big issues like money to worry about so they worry about little things like what they look like.
• Major factors promoting thinness include parental comments, media, depression, stress, and the “perfect image”.
• Depression causes lack of appetite.
• Eating disorders are one way girls can feel in control of themselves.

b) Recommendations from Discussion Groups and Evaluation Forms

• Schools could sponsor a parent meeting or parent coffee to talk about signs of eating disorders in their children and how not to put pressure on their child to lose weight.
• Coaches at schools should be encouraged to watch for signs of eating disorders in student athletes and should intervene if they see a problem (i.e., talk to students and/or parents).
• Sponsor club teams or intramurals after school (e.g., pick-up basketball games) to encourage students to get exercise.
• Educate students on symptoms and to listen to other people’s feelings; encourage them to be more empathetic and not make offensive remarks; also encourage them to get help for their peers who shows signs of these symptoms.
• Parents should serve as good role models.
• Provide more healthy snacks at school.
• Wellness week should teach students how to be normal and healthy; include programs on weight, mental health, body image, and athletics.
• When promoting stuff for students, show the reality of all kids, e.g., exhibit all body styles in the Fashion Show
• Invite teen magazine staff to Healthy Week to hear what the kids want to really look like.
• Look at the language of how issues are addressed to identify stereotypes.
• Health classes should focus on life style, not diet.
• List proper nutrition everywhere—in the school, at functions.
• Focus on issues that really matter to the kids about eating disorders, such as their hair falling out, bad teeth and breath, acne, not just the “healthy” aspect but the “varsity” aspect.
• Make sure students get Teen Crisis cards.
• Educate professionals in the community who deal with teens, such as dentists, dermatologists, and pediatricians.
• Revamp Wellness Week to make it more relevant to kids, ie., not during lunch which is their free time.
• Have a “Fitness Fact of the Day” or week on the daily announcements (or use skits) to promote health feelings and behavior.
• Have a fitness month in Health class.
• Promote non-athletic activity.
• Reach out to coaches who are influential.

8. Evaluation Summary



Attendees were asked to complete an evaluation form at the end of the Summit. Twenty-six adults and 15 teens did so. This section summarizes the comments received.

a. Ratings

• Work on getting more students (10).
• Try to get more sophomores and juniors.
• Need students who have been impacted directly by these issues.
• Good format. Keep it.
• To get more students, send invitations to all juniors and seniors and persons who signed on to be Student Connectors.
• Suggest a similar program for adults only to share concerns expressed by students.
• Might have more impact if held every other year.
• Have a list of professionals in the county to hand out.
• Have a bibliography and resources to take home.
• Have longer meeting times.
• Time of day and timing are perfect.
• This was a great program.
• Have more parents.
• Bullying was a great topic.

• High school transition from middle school
• Cliques
• Dating/sex
• Gang resistance
• Non-punitive student drug testing
• Random drug testing pros and cons as single topic
• Parent-student communication
• Drinking
• Teen driving
• Rape (more common than you’d think)
• Stress management
• Time management
• College pressure
• Parent pressure
• Pressures of grades and college
• How to cope with death
• Expansion of Teen Center for more outreach to both middle and high school
• Acceptance of sexuality

• Safe Social Alternatives
• Alcohol, Drugs
• Bullying, Harassment
• Parent-Student Communication
• Suicide, Depression
• Weight, Self-Image